Friday, May 17, 2013

Introspection on Introverts

I'm going to make an attempt to tell you everything you ever needed to know about introverts, but were too afraid to ask.  It's not like we would answer you anyway, but if we did, we might tell you some of the following tidbits... "Might" being the key word.  And the reason I am making this educational post is because I just think some of you extroverts don't get "us".  Okay, I'm not really going to tell you everything, but it may be just enough to help you understand us a little better.

First of all, we are not rude simply because we choose to remain quiet.  It doesn't mean we are lacking for words, either.  We are just very selective about with whom we share our jewels of information.  Extroverts love anybody, but introverts tend to love only special people.  People who accept them for their quietness, and people who have put forth the effort to give them a safe place to share.  Keith and I are both introverts, which means we kind of created introverted offspring.  It works for us, most of the time.  There are times, though, when a whole family of introverts can have some serious disadvantages.  Trust me, it's not that we choose to be this way, it is just how we are.  Believe it or not, we like being introverts.  We aren't secretly wishing we could be extroverts and we just don't know how to do it.  We LIKE sitting in the background to observe and listen.

As a young girl, I can remember hearing people in the background always referring to me as shy, as if it were some kind of disease.  In my mind, I really didn't care for that label, because to me it has a negative connotation.  I would rather not be singled out, especially when I just wanted to be unnoticed and have no attention drawn to me.   I was content to only have two or three "best" friends growing up.  Even on Facebook, I carefully consider friend requests and "unfriend" when I realize there is no real connection.  In fact, I was so "shy", when Keith and I had our wedding ceremony, there were the required two witnesses, the Justice of the Peace and a photographer.  For me, I just couldn't imagine walking down an aisle with all eyes on me and then have them listen to me tearfully recite my vows...  That was just too personal for me and I didn't know Keith's family well enough to allow them to see me cry.

All four of the guys have a degree of introvert-ism...  some more than others.  I have been told they are rude because they don't talk to others.  Not only is that hurtful, but it is dead wrong.  I am pretty sure the person that said this is an extrovert.  They don't get us at all.  Too bad they can't offer us some grace, because we sure offer it to them.  We will quietly sit back and let them whoop and holler and keep the spotlight on them and we dare not tell them they are wild or obnoxious.  We keep it to ourselves and allow them to be.

In fact, both of my guys have graduated from high school, and both of them did not want a party or to send out announcements or to advertise their milestone at all (not that there is anything wrong with that if you do choose to send out announcements).  No fanfare, and no banner waving, but a private celebration with family was all they wanted.  Sounds great to me.

I could easily write an entire chapter about introverts, because I have first hand knowledge about them.  I am one.  And I make no apologies for it.  When I meet an introvert, I understand if I want to get to know them, I will have to work for it.  I also know that once I gain their trust, I will have the most loyal and sincere friend ever.  Introverts may seem shy or rude, but what you don't know is, they are sizing you up to see if you are worth their time.  They want to be sure you won't capitalize on their weaknesses or share their secrets.  It's not something we do on purpose, it just is.

Have you hugged an introvert lately?  If you did, it must mean you are special!

Here is a little snipit I found on Pinterest that explains it better than I can:


Ya'll have a blessed day!

No comments: