I just wanted you to know how much I miss you. Twenty years ago today, I got that dreadful call, telling me that you died unexpectedly. I had just talked to you that morning, I simply did not want to believe it. My life has never been the same since that day, and I think about you every day. So many things remind me of you, and for that I am thankful.
I miss how you were always singing, humming and even dancing. I miss your devilish smile, the way you would raise your eyebrows when you were thinking something, but chose not to say it. You were the life of the party, and none of our parties have ever been the same without you.
I miss how you would tip-toe into my room on cold winter mornings, and tell me I could sleep in. We would watch Julia Child, The Galloping Gourmet and then bake cookies. You would keep an eye out for the milkman so you could get him to give us some ice cream off his truck. I loved how you would let me cut up magazines and glue pictures onto a box for a cool collage. You could turn nothing into something, and make washing the windows fun.
I miss your fabulous cooking, but I am so thankful you always let me help you in the kitchen. You never complained about the mess I made, it just didn't bother you. I learned so much because if I was in the kitchen with you, you were telling me all about the techniques, with proper French terms, and all your secrets. All those cooking secrets! You would be thrilled to know how good of a cook I have become, all because of you. Every time I cook, Mom, you are with me.
I miss how you were my biggest cheerleader. You were always so positive, but also honest, and made me feel good about myself. You gave me confidence when I lacked it, and helped me to realize I could always do more.
I miss how you were always giving. I have never met anyone else in this world that gave like you did. Your generosity was sometimes overwhelming, but now that I am older, I admire it more than ever. I used to tell people not to say they liked your blouse, because I feared that you would take it off and give it to them. Thank you for teaching me to go against my selfish nature and be giving.
I could easily go on and on about the thousand things I miss about you, but I know you are too humble for me to keep bragging about you. The hardest and most painful things I miss, are the things I never got to experience with you. You never met my husband and you were not there for my pregnancies, births or babies. You had 12 pregnancies, so I am sure you and I could have talked for hours. I think I suffer the most pain from the things that never got to be. You would love our little house in the woods with the screen porch. You would love that I had my own little store and how I make quilts. You would absolutely love these precious boys God gave us. They are such good boys, and they have such sweet spirits and how some of their traits are like mine when I was little. You have no idea how much it hurts me that they never knew you.
Mom, you were the best mother I could have ever asked for. You were my best friend. I miss you every day, with all of my heart.
