When I was thin...

...I acted like a thin person, I ate like a thin person and it was not this daily challenge. I didn't panic if I had hunger pangs or my meal was late. If I was going out to eat that night, I would eat a light lunch. You know, all those thin person unwritten rules that thin people innately know how to do. When I moved to Louisiana and got married, my whole routine of life changed, mostly for the better because I LOVED being a newlywed. The problems started when we found out I was pregnant after only five months of marriage. I was so not ready! Keith and I had barely even dated and I wanted our alone time to last longer, but God is so sovereign, He knew what was best for us. I was so nauseated those first five months and the only thing that made the room not spin was if I ate a little something. That's right. I gained a LOT of weight and quickly changed my healthy, thin eating patterns into destructive, unhealthy eating neurosis.

I used to work out 3-6 days a week before children. I played tennis almost daily, rode my bike, walked, swam and even hung out my laundry on the line, just for the calorie burn. Now with a baby, my exercising routine fell into the ditch. Now I had a compounded problem: eating for the wrong reasons and no exercise. We got pregnant again when Chris was nine months old and I still had some poundage on me I had not lost. Another big pregnancy gain, and another pregnancy when Andrew was 11 months old.... YIKES! I did get within my wedding day weight by about 20 pounds, but unfortunately, my eating patterns were beginning to spiral out of control.

Soon, I began using food to fill in the voids: if I was bored, frustrated (which was often), if I missed my mom, during marital stress, family stress, etc. Food became my soother, but the thing I never really saw was even after eating, I was still not soothed. You would think as smart as I am, I would break this vicious pattern, but it was not that easy. I would yo-yo over the next few years, often gaining and losing the same 10+ pounds. I couldn't gain traction and keep the weight loss going. Flash forward to now: I gained 20 pounds within three months of moving to Georgia. I'm not even going to get into all the reasons why I let THAT happen. It was madness, plain and simple. I have been on a perpetual diet for about 17 years now, and none of them seem to work for me. I exercise, track my calories, etc. Still fat and still gain easily. Yes, I have had my thyroid tested.

Okay, here we are today and I am ready to get serious. I am not going to blog every day or every week about my victories or defeats. I will try to capture some milestones and ultimately, put up that victorious before and after photo I have been dreaming about for a long time. I have several friends who have lost a lot of weight lately and it has really inspired me to get serious. No excuses. No blaming. My journey actually started Saturday, and I am blogging today because I am seeing a definite pattern within me: If I get off of sugar, I feel better, I have more energy and I have lost weight. I keep asking Keith to please help me to kick the sugar addiction... But that's sort of like asking another alcoholic to hide the booze. Even if Keith does not help, I will not blame him. I take ownership of my addiction to sugar. So, here's to kicking the sugar addiction, here's to getting serious about losing weight, and mostly, here's to giving all the Glory to God for empowering me to be obedient to His plan for eating. God Bless you all!